Tech-savvy Joke Master Pillows

'It's a compiltaion of my best excuses for not doing my homework...now available for download.'

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Screen Time vs Book Time

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"I haven't the slightest idea who he is. He came bundled with the software."

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Chef copy robot

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'There's no delete key. You have to use the board eraser.'

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

I've always been slower than computers...

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

'No Jenkins! I said we need to start using the Cloud! The C-L-O-U-D!'

"That guys is stealing my data!"

What if retail stores behaved like websites?

'It's a snow mobile.'

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

'I store all my data in the cloud.'