Tech-savvy Individual T-Shirts

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"How would I begin solving the problem? By using a calculator."

'How dare you suggest that our phone system is out of date.'

"At least you were replaced by a worker in India. I was replaced by a robot!"

"Our latest technological leap allowed us to automate our full operation, become carbon-neutral, and keep all our employees."

'I'm getting sleepy. Can you text me the remainder of the story?'

"Unfortunately I can't take your call as I have call display and I don't want to talk to you."

'I know junk e-mail is everywhere but spam on toast?'

In the Old Days Disabling Comments Was Easy.

"My computer crashed so I couldn't access your blog to get my assignment."

'Carrying an attache case is so retro. I carry a flash drive.'

"In the olden days, these things were used to store your contact details."

"Yes, I did say I wanted a TV mounted on the wall. But, I was referring to a new, light flat screen."

My fitness tracker said I was dead but I thought I'd better get a second opinion

"If you take one more selfie this job interview is over."

Things that never, EVER happen

"He must be a smart phone executive."

Miserable selfie

"Mom, to protect my security I have to ask you to change your maiden name."

"Don't be sad, Artie. We'll follow you on Twitter."

"I just can't be with someone who's never been digitized."

"Did you get my tweet?"

"My son, using 'Reply All' is not a sin."

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

A guide to glasses.

We're replacing you with a machine

'The boss took note of my hi-tech abilities. He said if I were an e-mail, he'd delete me.'

An Abundance of Cables.

'Did you click and send the contents of 'Irving' into the world wide web of humiliation?'

'Beware, dog@gate,'

'I never go anywhere without my mobile.'

'The computer is down... you'll have to wait for your hate mail.'