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The Rabbi who performed my son's bris just sent me a text. Wouldn

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Mom, I need a push.'

"We're neither software nor hardware. We're your parents."

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"After seeing the benefits of web analytics, Amy hoped to learn something by attaching cookies to customers who visited her store."

Virtual Lap Dancing

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.

Social network site runs into trouble.

Computers. Tablets. Laptops. The model is entirely voice-activated. I've always wanted to tell a computer "off."

'Yeah, but if it's NOT a mirage, maybe we can find Mapquest on it!'

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

"These EHR formats are an indecipherable headache to try and wade through. I miss the old days when the doctor's writing was all we had to figure out."

"Maybe it's just playing dead."

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

'Bad news. You're being outsourced by robots from a third world country.'

"Here we call it a pregnancy, not a startup."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a paywall.

'Look closely. Do you see the one who stole your identity?'

Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor woman in Dad's computer.

Human Resources: Due to Drones, Driverless cars, and Apps, we are not now hiring human beings...

"I've found the fault on your computer. Your spell-check had a fight with your predictive text."

Computer technicians with too little training.

'Hey, c'mon, I wanna hear ya say 'Have a nice day'...

"It's for people who can't remember passwords."

'I need a new motto. One with 140 characters.'

'This is not going to look too good on your record: complaining about invasion of privacy.'

'This is a disgrace! I read about it online!'

"As a magician, you're good at making things appear and disappear. Would you mind making the files I accidentally deleted reappear?"

'Whenever I get on the Information Superhighway, somebody FLASHES me.'

"This is the fist time I've ever seen a tech support number of a soccer ball."

"It was amicable. She got the phones and I got the data plan."

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