Tech-savvy Birdwatcher Pillows

'Singing to find a mate is so passe.'

Bird to bird: 'If I'm not careful, I could twitter my life away.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Two vegans, please."

Bird Torture.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"I'd kill for a fresh fruit fritter."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Vegetarian Birds

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'It's a blonde, long-legged species with a melodious voice and it goes south for the winter.'

Beaver tower

'You head south without me. I'll be fine.'

'Hey, want to go to the beach ...I mean ...the birdbath?'

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Birds Following Witch.

Trick or Tweet

'Honey, bring the camera, he's standing on one leg!!!'

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'