Tech-frazzled Student Gifts

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

'I've told you it's not the old pencil and paper battleships.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Text Culture

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

"Isn't there an app for this?"

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Could you repeat that word?"

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"Yes, you were born into the era of passwords and user-names. . . why do you ask, Mycat_2014?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

Lemonade Stand With Free Wi-Fi

"Knapsack? It's a solar-powered, bluetooth, Wi-Fi, self-charging, two shoulder GenPak with smartphone charger and GPS."

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"My mom's restricting my phone. She says I don't have enough Selfie Control."

'I won't be writing this year, you can find my list on my blog.'

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

Child hooking into a television

Go Play Outside - it's so real, you kids will almost smell the virtual fresh air!

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

'Relax, dad, I haven't been in a classroom for months because all my college classes are online!'

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

Social Networking.

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

Halloween Selfie

Modern Day Kids Playing 'Telephone'

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.