Tech Executive T-Shirts

"We can't be assailed and we can't be blackmailed... can't be derailed and will not be curtailed... competition will fail... cause we're too big to nail... oh, yeah!"

"And now for the business news, joining me live is tech giant, Googulooga Thump Thump."

European Union versus Big Tech

"It was a lot easier to keep up with the Joneses before they replaced their entire workforce with robots."

"We've merged with google."

OpenAI chaos

Meta losses

Swedish Meta Balls.

Artificial Intelligence

"Fire is going to be the new content."

"Facebook VP — you'll be in Circle No. 4."

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"The Internet has totally revolutionized the way white guys get rich."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Occu-Pie Mars

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'