
"What do you think Stoneage people did before television?"
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"What do you think Stoneage people did before television?"
"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"
'The circle is complete!'
'Everybody has to change to compete.'
Time Machine Collision
STRIP Hambone: Paper work
"Someday, these will be installed in every home and business that wants to seem artsy."
Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.
'I think we're losing sight of out roots.'
Drive in movies.
Homo Zapiens
"I'll never forget you."
Toddler Feeding Solutions
Reinventing the Wheel
You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.
"I didn't take anyone's job. This is my company."
'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'
Primordial Schmooze
"We've made significant progress in T-shirt cannon technology."
"Barbara, will you check your texts for a ring emoji?"
'I think scroll sounds better than 'continuous media,''
'Hey...here's a hot prospect...likes catching frisbees, chasing squirrels, rolling in smelly stuff...'
'I'm afraid of being left behind.'
"It appears you have a virus."
"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."
'My laptop's being repaired and I felt lost without a screensaver to stare at.'
'And of course if you'e feeling patriotic today, we have here a new line of PCs produced by the federal government.'
'Due to budget cuts, all agents will now be equipped with x-ray glasses.'
"I asked my investment advisor for something that was low cost, easy to manage, and also functions on its own. He suggested an index fund or a robo vac."
Smile you're on camera! You're also on my podcast!
The Beginning of Nostalgia
Evolution
'We really don't want to say goodbye. So, as a retirement gift - we're upgrading you, so we don't have to!'
'Oh, goodie! You've learned to walk upright - now we can take ballroom dancing lessons!'
'Perfect! -- Now let's build some rest stops!'
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