Tech Evangelist Pillows

Dotcom begging.

A preacher of open-source software.

"Ladies, gentlemen, come in and take a seat. I've decided to take this corporation in an entirely new direction."

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

The Ordered List

Computerized society.

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

'The reading is from my brand new mobile phone.'

Driverless Car

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Why god isn't listening...

"And the meek, aided by social media pester power, shall inherit the world."

'It gives me more energy than five grande espressos.'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'I'm the oldest employee in the store...I've been here from Hi-Fi to Wifi.'

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

Guru Needs Tech Support

'New Charismatic'

'For Heavens' sake, Murray! Corporate identity isn't bad, but do you really have to do this on every commercial spot from your company?'

'Chalk is so retro. Why haven't you upgraded to an interactive electronic whiteboard?'

"Yes, but take away the rodent droppings and the occasional shard of glass, and you've still got a damn fine product."

'Dropped calls aren't my problem. My problem are dropped cell phones.'

"Since the microchip brain implant, all the voices in my head are now A.I. generated."

"Better to turn on a recyclable compact fluorescent bulb than to curse the brightness challenged."

"OMG! What a tragedy, I forgot my camera!"

"Dear Lord Elon, thank you for our daily tweet."

One of the problems with convincing lawmakers of the need for rural broadband access...

'Jimmy! Will you stop texting on your mobile phone. We are trying to discuss how technology has changed society!'

'This is a lot of trouble! -- Why can't I sign up on line?'

'We've been recieving Earth's TV evangelists for years.'

'Sure, you write me, but you never instant-message me.'

"Never pay attention again!"