Tech Consultant T-Shirts

Data security officers run frantically out of reactive data security room, while another data officer relaxes in the predictive data security room.

"Well you said you wanted a simple, cheap solution!" (IT Solutions).

"Mr. Frobisher has launched a fresh new interface."

'Advances in technology are staggering...they can spend ten times as much, four times more quickly for only a tenth of the results.'

Suggestions laptop

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

" 'Obselete' means any software the company bought last year for multi-megabucks."

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

'Remember our goal, to get hired as tech consultants by a Hollywood producer.'

"Need help with your computer project? I have two teens at home."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

"Er...anyone here speak binary?"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In the Guru District

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."