Tech Company Milestone Gifts

"The smaller we make 'em, the bigger we get."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"We have an acronym!"

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Who called this meeting again?"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Robots In The Boardroom

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'