Tech Company Employees Pillows

Restroom Streaming/Downloading

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

Employee won't think about work outside of box

Working hours.

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

A disgruntled employee chain-sawes hois boss's desk in two.Boss says:'Alright Smith, I'll stop referring to the employees as 'oopsy daisies'.'