Tech-challenged Hero Pillows

'They call it a remote because that's the chnaces of me being able to program it.'

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

"Yes, if you ask for a menu instead of scanning the QR code you automatically qualify for the senior discount."

"For your birthday I'm going to give you 24 hours technical support."

Computer use issues

"Now right-click on the icon."

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

"It's amazing! There's even a place to put your beer!"

'Word came from on high that managers had to develop their IT skills...'

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

iPhone Senior

"Nothing makes me feel so old as having to scroll down and down to find my year of birth."

Stressed Office Junior

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

'It's like a penalty shoot-out, only when it's my turn the ball morphs into a balloon!'

"I did my homework, but it got lost in cyberspace."

'Don't get smart with me!'

"I had to give up my secret identity—no more phone booths."

'How could Plato write The Republic with a quill pen on parchment when I can't write a memo with a deluxe computer?'

"Please help. Never learned PowerPoint."

'And then Steve Jobs invented apple computers.'

'Fighting evil, fighting evil, fighting evil...oh, wait, how about the 17th, say noonish?'

'I know you never get grandpa's texts, but I don't have the heart to tell him he's using the TV remote.'

Twelve-step verification

'He's rebooting the computer '

"Darling, I can't set the digital recorder, I've lost the seven year old!"

"So what do we do when we can't say anything nice about someone?"

"My dad? Forget about it! He's clueless about cells...he'd never read my text messages...trust me!"

"What the ∆∂∑† do most of these Ω∞§Ωing buttons do?"

'When it comes to texting, I'm all thumbs.'

"I'm sending you back to elementary school so you can get your computer skills up."

"I can't call nobody on this newfangled dang cellular telephone!" "That's the TV remote, Roy."

"Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa! Play Lawrence Welk! Alexa..." "That's a can of chopped chicken, Grampa."