Teacher's Nemesis T-Shirts

'You know what? I agree with my son's opinion of you.'

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'Home Schooling'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Math Teacher

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'This part was tenure.'

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"I don't like a school year that begins with 'while you were out'."

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'Just tell him you mind your teacher and do your lessons. You don't have to prove it.'

"Tell me again how many young minds I will have shaped by the end of my teaching career."

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

'Hmmm, everyone seems to have prepared for the exam except for Thomas who's making a long face now.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

Principal to teacher with trap door below her desk: 'The board thinks people teach better under pressure.'

'No Mis Evans. You know only substitute teachers are allowed to carry taser guns!'

I will not waste chalk kid...

'I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, but when you've become as excellent of a teacher as you are, you've forfeited your right to retire.'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

'Dad demonstrates for an hour and then we go home - what happens in your swimming lessons?'

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

"There's the bell for respite. . . I mean, recess."

Did You Miss Me?

'It actually stands for 'substitute' but it keeps the children in line.'