Taxation Humor Lovers Gifts

'You will make big bucks, then you'll give it all away to reduce your taxes.'

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Yes, they are all dependants."

'One advantage of having so many dependents is that I don't have to worry about income taxes.'

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

It's kind of a cross between hunting and gathering --- I calling it "taxing."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

'Sometimes I think it would be more merciful just to enslave them.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Oh...the IRS called. Something about an audit. I told them we weren't interested.'

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

"Bad debts, yes, but you can't deduct bad trips."

Ancient Greece. "The unexamined life is not worth living." Socrates. Socrates clearly lived in a time before IRS audits.

tax

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

Tax relief

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Think of the raising of taxes as a motivational tool to go out and make more money."

"Here's a new bill to pay...intellectual property tax!"

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"