Taxation Department Employee Pillows

"Wait a minute! Aren't you the accountant I fired last year?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

'As the government sees it, the U.S. budget would be fine if more deficit earners like you, Mr. Wald, go on the ball!'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"You really clean up on these mileage deductions, don't you."

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'Dad, did you say 'someday all this will be theirs'?' 'No, me say, 'The IRS's'.'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

'I load on the job all the time so I figure it's not really 'earned' income.'

Gladstone returning to Westminster without a new ticket

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'So then. The handsome p.c. noticed that the tax disc on Cinderella's pumpkin carriage was well out of date.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'