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"There's no special occasion. I'm just taking up a collection to help pay my income tax."

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

I spent it all under the silly notion that it was all mine.

"I know you're wrong, I just can't get the computer to say it yet."

"After giving them the runaround for five minutes, pass them on to anger management."

"No internet connection"

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

Tax confusion.

Room 101 Tax Inspection

'Gibbs, I subracted your federal, state and social security taxes and medical from your paycheck, and you owe the firm $50.'

'You say you were trying to squirm your way out of an audit?'

Kid on the way to pricipal's office see a girl in the hall with a stand setup to give legal advice.

Me Doing My Taxes

"But I thought once the I.R.S. applied a penalty, that was the end of it."

You're living in the past, sir. We closed that loophole years ago.

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

"If there's discrepancies in my tax returns, don't blame me. Blame the guy in the alley I paid $20 to do them."

'You may march to a different drummer, but you still have to pay the same piper.'

Pinched by the Revenue Boys

'But on the bright side, I was able to find a loophole that should solve your little tax problem.'

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

Tax audit office.

"IF the government keeps attack rich tax dodgers I've a good mind to move abroad and not pay my taxes somewhere else!"

Labyrinth of bureaucracy

"This bottom line on your income tax return is a little irregular...'net income after wife's spending'."

'Look at the bright side, Wiggins. You have the perfect portfolio for someone who doesn't like to pay for any taxes.'

"The phrase 'expect the unexpected' must have originated with someone trying to decipher their cell phone bill."

'Printer not out of order.'