Tax Detectives Mugs

Meet the Author - Scrutinize his Tax Returns.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Flat tax - equal burden?

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

Eurobonds Explained.

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Tax Collector

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'