Tax Deduction Master Gifts

"Before we begin, would you like a prozac?"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

Big Hank's shooting gallery.

How the goat got square eyes.

Accountant Bedtime Stories

Could I have a minute of your valuable time, Timpson?

Relaxing on a sofa

Know your dog - The brain.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'I am not doing nothing... I am perfecting inertia.'

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

"Well, sometimes I'll just hang around and do nothing. Oh wait, that's all the time."

It started with elasticated trousers and daytime TV...

IRS: April is the cruelest month.

'When I was a youngster I was going to be a Rock GOD, but the allure of working with multi-denominational tax efficient offshore bonds proved too strong.'

"My son's a commonwealth - I give him money to be independent."

"I should have paid more attention in math class."

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

'Careful you don't strain a thumb.'

"C'mon, I can't be expected to Carpe EVERY Diem."

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

"You were right, Ed, I should have stopped when you said to....now I don't have enough money to pay for this drink!"

"Oh, gosh! Yoga in twenty minutes."

Hasta manana.

Annual sleep disorder for tax accountants.

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

'Leonard never puts off till tomorrow what he can drink today.'

'I'm glad to see you had no problems transitioning from the lazy days of spring, to the lazy days of summer.'

I'm sorry, your honor, I'm a little distracted. Would it be okay if I were to continue questioning the witness via cell phone from the hall?

"The trouble is with skiving, you never know when you're finished."

"I have a home office. Can I deduct trips to the kitchen and bathroom?"

Slow News Day