Tax Collector Schtick Pillows

'As long as you're going to the mall, get all the sales tax.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Second hand furniture.

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

clock shopkeeper says timing is everything

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

"I'd say business was brisk."

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Cat hunting in a cuckoo clock.

Olga's Biological Clocks.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'Oh great, now I have to render unto Caesar, too.'

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

'Syllogisms won't do you any good here, Mr Aristotle.'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"Why are these things always such pathetic kitsch?"

"You're late."

Delinquent Accounts - Day Late, Dollar Short.