Tattle Tale Monitor T-Shirts

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"It get it – you're hungry."

Fishing Tales

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Horror Stories.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Fishing Boat Derby

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'It was this big. I swear'

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Good boy

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

A Salmon Lie

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'