Tasteful Humor Seekers T-Shirts

'Jenkins, I told you last week - this desert just ain't big enough for the two of us!'

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

"I'll have the crescent-crab 'purses' and the smoked duck 'hash' – hold the quotation marks."

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

'Of course, the peas are fresh. I personally opened the can myself.'

Snowman: 'Maybe we should put down a towel first..?'

Woodpecker sitting on snowmans nose

'Forget it, Bob, they're way to skinny!'

"I wanted to keep my summer look, so I got it colored."

A pot holder.

'How about a drink?' 'You've got gravy.'

'Poland springs! Poland springs!'

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

"Expect a generous gratuity on table 9...I hacked his tip calculator."

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

"Now, girls, after me. Boo-ya-bes, a mixed fish stew. Boo-ya-bes, a mixed fish stew."

Window sign: Tastes just like chicken cafe...open

'You may shag the bride,'

'This evening's specials include 72-month financing on the filet mignon.'

'No, the fish isn't battered - the cook just roughs it up a bit!'

"What wine would you recommend to go with male chauvinist pork?"

'If she says I could have cooked this for half the price - the pasta goes over her head.'

"Excuse me, my bowl and glass seem to be stuck to the table."

'Luckily for you, we're only taking on temporary staff right now.'

"I'm literally naked about to be hacked to bits and *you're* crying!?!"

Pet-A-Manger

"What am I, chopped liver?"

Oh, you're one of those 'cartoon cows'!

Honey Trappist

'The dish of the day madam? He's sitting by the window. He's 32, single, and runs a very successful art gallery.'

"Hold on...I seem to be breaking up."

Caution Wet Surface!