Tasteful Designer Gifts

"Did you have any problems at the design stage?"

Sphere vs. sphere reimagined.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

"If I'm going to have a baby brother, can I help design him?"

'Ok - I'm thinking baroque style with a pillared apse and a waterfall in the atrium. Oh - and do we have a permit?'

"Don't forget, on the stroke of midnight your clothes will lose their designer labels."

MILAN CHAIR HARVEST

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."

'There is a fine line between chic and outrageous.'

Tartan Coats

'£800. How can you hide this from your husband?'

'Don't mention my hair. I won't mention your pants.'

'Yes, we're expensive but each one comes with its very own free receipt.'

"Ripped jeans are totally out. The new trend is no jeans. I just bought some for 280 bucks!"

"I'm building a castle."

"Shoes Louboutin"

'Hey, awesome jacket, Melanie! Suede?'

"Hmmmm...What am I in the mood for?"

Ettore Uzza's Half-A-Loaf

'The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention these custom peppermint windows?'

Karl Lagerfeld.

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

"Does my overdraft look big in this?"

"And when he dies, I can make him into earrings!"

"Yeah, it's all genuine Burberry."

"I was afraid of GMO foods until I learned they're the designer versions."

'Nothing against you - I just don't like the taste of rabbit.'

Green waistcoat

'£200, your husband will kill you! No way, I'll wrap it in brown paper and tell him I bought it in a jumble sale.'

"Howard can't handle the thought of paying for this gown. It's put him into Post Dramatic Dress Syndrome."

Designer Sportswear.

"Run that by me again...the torn jeans are more expensive?"

"Casual cursewear? Right, this way."

'Those tiny speakers in mobile phones that play music...Brilliant.'