Taste Detective Mugs

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Try to guess the continent dining...

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Harsh Mellows.

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'