Tartan Fan T-Shirts

The Scottish lion tamer.

Scottish Birthday

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'What clan do you belong to?'

King George I

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

Scottish party

Out of kilter.

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

Highland Piper.

Scotsman in the bath...

Revenge had come.

Scot holding a heart.

The Scottish Lawn

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"Someone switched off the freezer...it's melted."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

"The second bag is a doggie bag for my schnauzer, Buddy."

"Hee-hee! I just squirted George Hamilton with sun screen!"

"In my previous life I was arugula."

Stable boys and Scottsman

Sun Worshipers

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Scot country dancing,

Where Scottish milk comes from.

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Pat's Bar, Rotgut Tasting 5-7.

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'Sure I can put in a wet bar, too.'

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

Celine Dion