Talk Therapy Mugs

'I'm concerned. I'm happy!

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Dialogue

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"A haand gel...!?"

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Tangled Earphones Support Group.

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

Monosyllabic Crisis Center

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

"So has this obsession about your weight ever led to thoughts of suicide?"