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Chamisso's 'Peter Schlemihl' - Peter Sells His Shadow

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Horror Stories.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

Freedom of the press

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

Mother Goose Spoilers

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

Candor is the Best Policy

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."