Tale Tellers Mugs

Chamisso's 'Peter Schlemihl' - Peter Sells His Shadow

"An amusing story no doubt Captain, but let me tell you about my experiences with the head hunters of the Amazon!"

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

Horror Stories.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Early accounting scandals.

Freedom of the press

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

"After viewing your current account balance, I think you should read the sign."

Mother Goose Spoilers

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I swapped shirts with Peter Crouch.'

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

"I'd like to report a case of historical sexual abuse in the sixties. I'd like to - but I can't!"

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Writing For Dummies Books For Dummies.

"Son, it's about time I told you the facts of life, the richest 1% own half the world's wealth."

Candor is the Best Policy

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"I think that one is a little too honest."

"Your story is quite the booze-filled dive into the depths of depravity. Is this your first children's book?"

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah - tell my editor the fables are almost done, and she'll have them as soon as

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...