Tale Creator T-Shirts

"So that's my story. A lot's implied."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Fish talking about fisherman

Three lanes of traffic with the first two lanes crowded with turtles. The third lane (to the left) a couple rabbits speeding along without any traffic. An easy pass sign has carrots replacing dollars.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

Horror Stories.

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

"Well did he?"

Early accounting scandals.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

fairy tales

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Do you honestly expect me to believe that fairy tale?

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

"Always exaggerate. It makes life seem more interesting."

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"Isn't it time to forget the cat and start belling the violence?"

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

I swear, we rode right through the town and my mistress Lady Godiva wasn't wearing a thing...

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

'It started off as stories I told my wife.'

The giraffe-tamer.