Tailgate Taster Prints

Church for sports worshipers.

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Complementary Beverages

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Please Wait and wait and wait.

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"Ah-sod it! I think I'll get a takeaway instead..."

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

Cocktailgating. . . .

'Go long!'

"It's new. It's Perrier flavored vodka."

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

'I'm removing you from the research department, Jones!'

'Does this taste like it might have accidentally gotten some rat poison in it?'

Early Tailgate Parties.

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

"Enough yin. More yang."

'What do you mean the tailgate party was so fun you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home 2 weeks ago!'

This is great! Whose idea was it to start the battle with a tailgate?

"He likes to do it for the Yale-Harvard game."

The football preseason is a good time to review the rules of tailgating. Grabbing the ketchup when one person is handing it to another is "pass interference." Bringing salad instead of chicken wings is not allowed --- It's an "illegal substitution." "Piling on" is penalized on the football field, but not here at the tailgate party! And very importantly, in most places, we observe the "5-second rule" for dropped food. But here we have the "2-Minute Warning"! See, these fries are still good!

Book Burp

Food Manufacturer Requires Taster

"I told you before! I need a food taster who likes brussel sprouts!"

'Ugh! I hate it when there's a tailgater behind me!'

A year ago I would have never guessed that tailgating in the driveway at home could feel like a normal thing to do.

"I'm the king's food taster. He likes comfort foods."

'Being the royal food taster doesn't mean you always get to lick the filling from the cookies.'

"It's a tailgate cooler."