Tail Tuggers Gifts

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

A man and his dog

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Rusty starts to have very violent thoughts toward his tail.

"He's already getting attached to you."

'He loved that dog.'

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'You tell me how he does it.'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"And here are today's categories...."

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'I heard my master say I was getting fixed...I didn't even know I was broken!'

'He's barking mad!'

Headshot of perky dog.

'My wife doesn't understand us.'

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

"I'm doing it for him. If I brought the ball back each time he wouldn't get any exercise at all."

Squirrel Salon

"A new study reveals this is actually what you've been chasing."

'Isn't this great? Now Winston can know we're excited to see him too!'

'It's an improvement, Wally, but I still won't marry you.'

'That cat is ruining our sex life-I never know if it's you or the cat who's purring with satisfaction.'

'Ever noticed how people resemble their pets?'

'Gimme a little kiss.'

"He wags, but his tail doesn't."

Although it wagged enthusiastically, secretly the tail found this game dull and repetitive.