Syntax Strategist T-Shirts

"You're writing in the masculine again."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

Someone who knows apostrophes

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I'm afraid it wouldn't work out, Kevin. You say 'data is' and I say 'data are'.'

Present Tense/Present Simple/Present Progressive/Present Perfect/Present Past.

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

Wordplay: Nonstarter.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"Works every time."

'It feels like I'm very much in a good place these days. That is, aside from the grammar.'

Hats: Management/Good Job/Friendly but Aloof.

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

Foundation for the Syntactically Challenged

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'Colourful scenes in central London as the annual pedants' pride parade makes it way into Hyde park.'

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

The Adventures of Grammar Man

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"Many editors take it improve their colons and semicolons."

"I love the similarities between us. You use irregular verbs, I use irregular verbs."

"The boss won't be able to make it on time. He asked us to reschedule this meeting to discuss the agenda for our next meeting where we're going to brainstorm strategies to prevent procrastination in the workplace."

"I translate books from English into better English."

'These days my approach is to start with the Booker Prize acceptance speech and work backwards...'

George Smith Patton

"And remember–no more subjunctives where the correct mood is indicative."

"She said it's not me; it's my semicolons."

News. Editor. Like it? It's a new punctuation mark I invented!