Sympathy Snacker Mugs

"He eats whatever he wants and never gains weight? Well, that's grounds for divorce right there!"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

Breakfast surreal.

'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'

"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."

'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself. . .feel sorry for those who have to work with you!

'You can't expect everything you need to just come falling from the sky'

Meditation Munchies

"You're not going to believe this -- they're making deep-fried manna."

'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'

'The dietary exchange for this food is 3 days of unrelenting remorse.'

Medium Fries and a Drink

"Dad, what is a meal?"

Factory raised chickens. . .Free range chickens. . . Chickens that crossed the road.

'I'll have the Pollack salad, and a glass of house wine.'

'Oi! - Have you nicked one of my sausages?'

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

For the grey nomad, life on the road had its challenges.

'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'

'Most people wouldn't wantonly eat the hors d'oeuvres if they hadn't read the book.'

Candy 50c All Sales Final.

Vending machine has options of THIS, THAT, HEM HAW.