Sympathy Seekers T-Shirts

Sympathy cards: Death - Divorce - Entitlements got cut.

Cards

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Postwar is hell."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

A child interrupting family prayers

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

"Nobody wants to merge with us."

"What a sad species humans are!"

'We finally learned to communicate, and he's worse than I thought he was!

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Storage Unit of Love

Couple

Cow yin yang spots.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

Wife takes husband's place in the pub

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Bring your problems to work day.

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

'What's the point of suffering from depression if nobody notices?'

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."

Interfaith dialogue

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Unhappy clown.

'What if this time, more heads has made us more stupid?'

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.