Sympathetic Ear Appreciator Pillows

"I know . . . your job's a pressure cooker. So will tonight be natural or quick release?"

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Cares and woes.

Men dancing

"You play that song once more and I'll break both your hands!"

Musician

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you to turn my problem into something way worse that happened to you."

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"There goes that creepy music again...

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

'I don't know how you stand listening to people's problems all of the time, Doctor Barnes.'

'Cheer up...'

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

'OK, nod a little slower this time. Then let's work on saying 'mm-hmm, go on' ...you try it.'

4th of July and PTSD

'Yes, puberty did put me through a lot of stress. . . but it was my daughters puberty.'

On July 9th 1983, Andres Segovia inexplicably began Duck walking through the Adagio section of Bach's suite for guitar.

'-and she gets headaches every time the doorbell plays our tune.'

'I changed my status from LLC to LL Cool C.'

Johannes Brahms.

'Sorry, too middle of the road.'

Deflate counselling service

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

"She no longer laughs at my joke."

You're on, caller. What's your problem? My baby won't stop crying. How do I get her to stop? What do you mean, "get her to stop"? Your baby's a human being and she already has things she wants to tell you. Crying is the only language she knows. Just hold her, tell her "I hear you" ... ... AND GROW A THICKER SKIN! BABY TEARS AREN'T LITTLE GRENADES, LOSER! I wish she'd just text me like everyone else.

"I think you may need to start seeing me twice a week for a while."

A patient plays the trumpet while in therapy.

'The best part is when the band starts playing again.'

'No, sir, we don't have a big noise. We have a chief librarian.'

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

Songbird on Vase

'Having one of those days I see.'