Sword Savants Pillows

"But now it won't stay in mint condition."

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

"Does it hurt when I do this?"

A portrait comes alive and stabs its artist

Pub Kendo.

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Swords for Making America Great Again

"Hasn't this been the best first hundred days ever?"

Shirts vs Skins: 'I don't know about this.'

"Sir George! How did it go with your jousting competition at the Renaissance Fair?"

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Scheduel.

Fencing Lessons

Battle.

I told you rust would set in if you went out in this weather.

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

Man sharpening giant pencil with his sword

"Have you given any more thought to my idea of using a sword?"

"Heh, I've left a pin on his seat."

The Lady of the Lake stabs a duck.

'That's no lady - she hasn't even shaved her armpits.'

Fun at the Office: Touché Break.

'I'll need the large blade on this lawyer...I'm performing a radical crapendectomy.'

'The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with!'

'Ever try beating a ploughshare into a sword?'

'ON GUARD!' 'Touche.'