Sword Balancing Act T-Shirts

Man with Sword in Penholder

Cycling with a harp case

Kitchen Tetris

Warrior Woman

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Epic Battles

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"First break since 2008."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Washing Line Walker

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Decapitated coffee.

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

In/Out

"I don't think you can get a peace prize for ending a war that you started."

Knights queue up to attempt to pull excalibur with a claw machine.

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

Laptops

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

A Bat walking a tightrope upside down.

Speed Bump Ahead.

'After A Knights Hard Day'

'Having a family life and juggling two jobs? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?'

Pub Kendo.

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

"I have 15,000 patients...so my fantasy football team stinks."

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Sawrd Fighting

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.