Swimming Pool Humorists Pillows

Pool Rules: No Diving, No Splashing, No Walking on Water.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Guide fish.

That dolphin drinks like a fish.

Shark Chum

Fish Farm.

"I have to go on a diet! According to that fisherman I have gained fifty pounds overnight!!"

'Which end's the shallow end?'

"Here he comes! Don't move."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

How Lawyers Evolved.

Need to turn up heat(fish crowd heater in aquirium).

'Is it just me, or does this water feel unnaturally warm?'

Tentacle attacking diver.

'You see these things, you don't bite them, you suck them out...'

'I'm a Pisces.'

No petting in the pool!

Acme Coffee Co.

A Classic Goldfish Game.

'I wonder why goldfish are gold.' - 'So they don't rust.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

Get out of the kiddy pool Harold!

'Ha! Fake out!'

Oddly familiar formation.

'Sperm Donor Whale.'

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"

"...You shouldn't by any chance be missing one of your animals?"