Survivalist Schemer Pillows

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Desert Island Meals.

'Thank-you God.'

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Arf! Arf!'

'I need a life saving app. I need a life saving app.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Day 736. Still loving the fact that I can smoke all over this island..."

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'I'm glad to see you've started building a boat.'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

'I hate evolution!'

'Remember, son, don't believe any thing you hear and only half of what you see.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

The trap

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

Santa Claus delivers present to man stranded on desert island.

"I don't know, what do you want to do today?"

'Do you have to be so melodramatic?'

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."