Surveying Strategist Pillows

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

'It looks to me like they come in peace.'

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

"I like to stay on top of things."

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Surveys and economic interests

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey