Survey Master Pillows

How was your confusion experience?

'Sorry, sir, but we don't have a category for that.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"And what do you think of the government's record on housing?"

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'Other than the countless probing how would you rate your stay with us?'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

Surveys and economic interests

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

First and last day as census taker...

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

Pollsters: Mori, Gallup and Just Nosey.

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

'Can you spare a moment for the Universe, sir?'