Surgical Team Member Pillows

"He's chief surgeon, and this is a tricky procedure. If he doesn't want any witnesses, he doesn't get any witnesses."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

Happy Birthday to you.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Dr. Reynolds unsuccessfully combines night story time with EHR pajama time.

'Private patients go to Dr Jekyll, NHS to Mr Hyde.'

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

'Excuse me, sir. Could you spare $2000,000 to treat an uninsurable pre-existing condition?'

First aid departments

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

Medical Center.

"First you leave me in the waiting room for two hours before I can see you... then you tell me I've got to watch my blood pressure!"

Thank you to our awesome NHS staff

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Fly Hospital: "Just a slight stinging then you'll be fast asleep."

'Sure we're underfunded, but we manage!'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

NHS targets.

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'