Surgical Sarcasm Enthusiast Prints

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'You know what'll do wonders for you? A nose job.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"It was a botched surgery."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"He's going to be fine. We're just putting his giblets back."

"No response doctor! The patient is sedated!"

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Did you get some work done?"

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

Hospital Cleaning.

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"I'm removing the liver.. No, the kidneys... Presure, pressure, what's that blobby thing?"

'Dont you hate it when there are parts left over.'

'Sponge diving, Bob?'

"That's just in case we need to go in again."

"Open mike night"

"Relax! He's in good hands!!"

'Golf War Syndrome.'

"Sorry, Bob, those are the rules– you drop the kidney, you give them yours."

'Doc, check out screen 2 in ten minutes...we got the big game!'

'Where did you say the new anaesthetist trained?'

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

Casino plastic surgery...specializing poker faces.

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"