Surgery Simulator Lover Pillows

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

"Get another opinion if you wish, Mr. Von Flip...But I'm confident it will still come up ' heads - we operate.'"

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Anatomy.

'Well, I'll be...look at this...there's a song in his heart!'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

Anatomy.

"Well, I'll be - he cut and ran."

"There was a system failure that caused a brief crash, but fortunately I was able to reboot."

He really puts his heart into it!

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

'We operated just in time. Another two days and you have got better on your own.'

Hospital Cleaning.

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'