Surgery Laugher Mugs

Escaping surgery.

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

The breakup

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

'To show you I'm not all bad, I won't be letting you go until after 'Bring Your Child To Work Day'.'

"Eureka!!" "Guess again, Einstein."

'Don't get your hopes up, I'm only laughing excessively...'

'As a boss you'll find me hard, but fair. Actually, that's only half true.'

"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."

'Ooops. Any chance we could blame this on El Nino or climate change?'

"A cashier told me to have a nice day and I didn't. Am I liable or can I sue her?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Berger. I must have accidentally pressed the 'Sycophant' button."

Coast to coast.

'I said, I think I know whey you're finding it lonely at the top.'

Jury Bribes.

'But we've got laws on the books now that we can't enforce!'

'The computer must be on the blink if it sent a questionnaire to him!'

'Litigate not, least ye be litigated against!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"And I told them not to use lactose for the last supper..."

"I thought you said you were watching your weight!"

'I would definitely say I'm a 'type A' personality.'

'We're looking for a mother figure.'

'I drank to a lawyer's health, and now he's slapped me with a malpractice suit.'

'It's a tweet from heaven. They say if we don't stop watching them, they're going to tell God.'

'Don't tell me we live in a litigious society... I ought to sue you for saying that!'

'I can't get this laptop to work.'

"You bite me again and I'll sue."

"That's OK. I'll get the next one."

'Well I'll be damned, you got me on a technicality.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"Yes, they offer free delivery. But when an on-line seller laughs, does their belly shake like a bowl full of jelly?"

'Both prosecution and defense must submit any unwritten laws in writing.'

'I don't teach my students about the Bill of Rights any more -- it just makes them unruly.'