Surgery Buff Pillows

Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots

"It was a difficult operation, but in the end I won."

'We've recently adopted the full aviation model.'

Take An Organ, Leave An Organ

'Once I dreamt of being a famous surgeon. Woke up covered in blood.'

'His heart was tragically deformed.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

'G-g-golly! One day out of med school and I'm about to perform brain surgery! Just look at that scalpel shake!'

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"I'm only flesh and blood. And, of course, collagen."

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"There are 206 bones in your body...How would you like one more?"

'I know just how you feel.'

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

'Just remember, you're not alone - I'm scared to death, too.'

Anatomy.

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

Hospital Cleaning.

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."