Cosmetic Surgery Buff Pillows

'Don't tell me she hasn't had plastic surgery!'

'I want you to go home and think about this for a week - a nose job mustn't be a casual thing.'

'She had a nose job.'

'If you have any problems with the nose job, take two selfies and send them in the morning.'

"Suck, not blow."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"The good news is that your cardiac surgery was a complete success. The bad news is that we had to remove the song from your heart."

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

Sheep In Curlers

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Do you think I'm sixty?

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

The Cat Spa

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Here's the name of my cosmetic brain surgeon. He make you look smarter.'

'You do Botox?'

'During the heart-transplant, since it was your birthday, I went ahead and added two more inches, no charge.'

'Botox...'