Surfboard Maestro T-Shirts

'I hate rainy days!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"We can't agree on a size."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Musical Bicycle.

Clock Face Golf Set

Lawrence of Suburbia

"It's garage music."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

The Violin Artist

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

A bulge of bodybuilders

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

"Unbelievable! Me owning my own golf course! Mind you. . ."

'Got a quarter?'

'Gerald loves an afternoon relaxing in the garden.'

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

BOTTOMLINE: Highroad...Lowroad

Conductor.

"It might be time to start training your legs!"

"Who's he trying to impress? Silly ass!"