Surfboard Maestro T-Shirts

'I hate rainy days!'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I guess someone got up on the wrong side of the podium today."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

How to identify the alarming mood swings of male menopause.

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

"This is great. I've been playing miniature golf so often I almost forgot what regular-sized golf is like."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"... and come out fighting, boys."

"We can't agree on a size."

Phone solicitors like customers who are afraid to hang up.

Musical Bicycle.

Clock Face Golf Set

Lawrence of Suburbia

"It's garage music."

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

When Cows Discovered Mowers

The Violin Artist

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".

Ted tests the limits of his new mulching mower.

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"I've never seen Baldo so excited about mowing the lawn."

'Spend all morning on a cryptorchidectomy...'

A bulge of bodybuilders

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

"Do you think it's time to switch from the blower to the mower?"

'Got a quarter?'

"Unbelievable! Me owning my own golf course! Mind you. . ."

'Gerald loves an afternoon relaxing in the garden.'

BOTTOMLINE: Highroad...Lowroad

Conductor.

"It might be time to start training your legs!"