Support Animal Advocate Pillows

"When the doctor said an animal might help with your depression I thought you meant ta cat!"

'I'm a hearing-ear dog."

"Hey! If he gets an emotional support animal, then I do too!"

"Excuse me, your support dog is drooling in my comfort wine."

"Your honor, allow me to introduce Fluffy Pants, my support cat."

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

The Golfing Accident

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

dog vs UFO...

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

City Electronics and Computers...On sale...ROBOT PETS: 'Robot pets is going too far

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'