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'You're not showing up at all on any of the X-rays.'

The devil you know and his plus one

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

Redlaw and the Phantom

Vampire collects bottles of blood from his doorstep.

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"Take my word for it, sir―it looks just great on you!"

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

"The Ruin is under new management. Specters will manage wraiths, shades and spirits. All others report to be spook resources. Bonuses will be based on team work and synergy."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

Ghosts and Aliens in Bath

"What a way to go."

A were-cow.

'We can always hope he's a zombie.'

I'm ridiculously small. My nose is huge. I have ears like a jackass... Manic depressive with low elf esteem.

"You have to practice because if the Devil challenges you to a fiddle contest and wins, he gets your soul."

Beer/Wine/Spirits.

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

"You put it on backward, dear."

"Can any of us truly see ourselves?"

"I feel like I'm persecting."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Vampire shaving cut dilemma.

'Well you'll be late for school again, Jimmy... and for the last time that is not toilet paper!'

'Who's that painted lady?'