Sunday Service Gigglers Prints

Sunday morning greeters, the #1 cause for social anxiety in the church.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

A child interrupting family prayers

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

How's my sermon. . .

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Sermon Applause.

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"...and in conclusion..."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Road rage on a mobility scooter.